A Better Day June 6, 2007

“The price is wrong bitch.” 

“I l-left a message.  A message? What number did you call?  Two, four, niner, five, six, seven… I can’t hear you, you’re trailing off and did I catch a niner in there? Were you calling from a walkie-talkie?  No, it was cordless.  You know what? Don’t. Not here, not now.”-Tommy Boy

First I just want to say thank you to everyone who left me comments on yesterday’s vent.  It’s nice to see how supportive all of you are.  Yesterday was a much better day and he was trying to be really nice to her.  I think he realized how he came across because I could see him making a real effort with her.  I’m completely over it and I don’t hold any grudges against him, but I will say I hope the next time he will be more considerate before making a comment like that again.

The one trend I have noticed from being in church and from some comments are how any type of comments made can stop someone from ever stepping foot in a church again.  I remember in high school our youth pastor left and eventually I started going to my friends church.  Well after visiting for a few weeks I was basically told that I could not show up to youth anymore because of the clothes I wore.  Now I was 18 but it’s not like I dressed like a whore or anything.  My shirts were snug but that was the style and pretty much still is and it’s not like my boobs were popping out because well I’m a B cup so there you go.  As for my skirts they were above my knee but my butt wasn’t hanging out.  Basically I criticized because some of the youth knew I went to parties and drank, and I guess they told the youth pastor and he decided to use that and how I dressed to tell me why I was not welcomed.  I guess he thought I was going to turn the youth into a bunch of drunken whores.  When I found this out I was so mad I wanted to go up and punch that guy in the face, and the other part of me was hurt because I was judged without knowing who I really was.  After that I quit going to church but every once in awhile I would go.  It took me almost 5 years before I recommitted my life and found a church that I liked.  The church I went to and still go to is the one David grew up in.  To say the least they are charismatic but after some time I got used to it and I’m glad that I can worship however I want without being judged.  But what sealed the deal was that David and I were married while I was 4 months pregnant with Sweet Pea.  We were scared to death to tell our parents and of course the Pastor since we had already planned to get married but now we pushed everything up.  The Pastor married us without looking down or telling us how terrible we were.  If he had condemned us I probably would have turned my back on church all together.  But he didn’t and because of that I have been able to forgive that youth pastor and can move forward in my life and have learned to not judge others.

I just have to tell myself that we are all human and we all make mistakes.  Unfourtunetly our mistakes can cause others to never step foot in a church again.  As Christians people hold us to a much higher standard and think that we are perfect and should never make mistakes.  Well I hate to break the news but Christians are just like everyone else, we make mistakes and we learn from them just like everyone else.  We stumble and fall and sometimes hurt others without meaning to.

Being MIA May 27, 2007

“Blessed be the Lord my strength, which teacheth my hands to war, and my fingers to fight.”

As many of you know the last quote was Bruce/Bruce Almighty.  Good movie and like Emily said I too can’t wait for Evan Almighty to come out.

Now to go on about my absence for the past couple of days.  As many of you know we have a guest speaker at our church and he challenged us to to fast something for a couple of days.  So I sat there and thought about what I should fast when I felt the Lord telling me my computer.  Now I’m going to be honest I didn’t really want to fast my time on the computer but I didn’t want to fast cokes, or food either.  And since I’m on the computer literally everyday I knew it would be one that would be hard.  So as you can guess I fasted my time on the computer Fri. and Sat.  And let me tell you how hard that was for me; I didn’t realize how often I like to check things on the computer.  I also realized that I didn’t have to fast any meals like many do (even though it wouldn’t hurt :)) you can fast anything you want that you know may be difficult.  And just so you know I missed all you very much, I mean it.  It was very hard for me not to get on Bloglines and read about what was going on in your lives and it was extremely difficult for me not to jump on here Fri. morning to tell y’all about the movie.

What a night. May 24, 2007

“Bingo! Yahtzee! Is that your final answer? Our survey says… God! Bing bing bing bing bing! Well God, nice job on the Grand Canyon, and good luck with the Apocalypse. “

The answer to yesterday’s quote: Truvy/Steel Magnolias.  And let me just say I figured many if not all of you would get it and I’m glad you did because that is one of my all-time favorite movies.  There are so many quotes to choose from so don’t be surprised if another one pops up some time in the future.

Can I just say that I’m getting really excited about going to the movies :)  I just know it’s going to be good.

Now onto last night.  I think I mentioned yesterday that we are having a revival at our church and man was it awesome last night.  I’m talking you could just feel God’s presence and we didn’t leave until 11:00 p.m. but you know what it didn’t even feel that late.  I was talking to Ashly about it this morning and I’m hoping that her and my mom will come to listen to him speak.  I was telling her how I’ve been praying for David to become the man of God I know he is meant to be-there is just some kind of hang-up and I’m not sure what it is.  He has been brought up in church but for some reason it’s like pulling teeth to have him go.  Anyway I’ve been feeling discouraged about the calling I feel God has put on my life.  The reason: I know that being in the ministry is something I can not and do not want to do on my own.  I need David there standing by my side, and right now he isn’t filled with the passion and desires that I have.  So last night I told myself that I was not going to leave until he prayed for me, and man what a prayer it was.  He told me that God sees my burning desire and that he will open the doors for me, and that David will come back to God and become the head of our family.  Wooo, God is good!!  I really wish all of you could come and see this guy yourself because he has been a blessing to our church. 

Thank you Father for seeing something so much bigger in my life than I could have ever dreamed of.  Thank you for taking away the doubt I’ve been having and confirming what you have placed in my heart.  I know David will come running back to you, and I pray that he will see the blessings and rewards of living a life that is filled with you.

Can you imagine? May 2, 2007

I was listening to songs on my computer and the song I Can Only Imagine by Mercy Me came on and I just felt the need to write about it.  I’m sure many of you are familiar with this song but I really love it.  Can you just imagine what the day will be like when we come face-to-face with our King.  I don’t know about you but my mind can’t even fathom what that day will be like. 

Until that day  I just ask the Lord to continue to give me the strength needed to do what he has called me to do.  Whatever decisions I face Lord I pray that you ignite a spirit of faith in me.  I know there will be times even now when I question if I am the right one to fulfill what you have asked of me, but everytime I feel this way remind me to always go to you in prayer and ask for your wisdom and to trust completely in you.  I don’t want to look back on my life and wish that I just did what you asked instead of living in my own fear.

Quiet Time April 30, 2007

At the end of the Pastor’s sermon he challenged everytime to write down a time where they will have quiet time with God everyday.  For a while now I’ve been feeling convicted about this because I haven’t been faithful when it comes to doing this.  I guess you can say I’ve come up with reasons for why I don’t have time; here are the reasons:

1. Taking care of the kiddos.
2. School Work
3. House Work
4. Feeling Tired Lazy

Now all these things ok except for number four are legitimate things that have kept me very busy, but I know that it’s no excuse for not having my daily quiet time.  So last night I picked up the devotional I got last year for Mother’s Day and I picked up where I left off, I also wrote in the journal that goes along with it and read a chapter in the Bible.  No matter how “busy” I am I plan on taking time out-whether day or night and having my quiet time.

So my last question is when do you have your quiet time, and do you use devotionals, read the Bible, or use something else when you do this?  I would love to hear everyone’s answers.

Holy Week April 2, 2007

Come Easter Sunday there will be lots of preparations from what we are going to where to putting together our children’s Easter baskets.  I for one will getting ready and making sure I have everything that I need.  But while we are getting ready lets not forget to remind ourselves and our children what Easter really means.  Let’s remind our children that there is so much more to Easter than hunting for eggs and eating chocolate bunnies.   

Here are some passages to look through this week while we are thinking about the sacrifice Jesus made for us on the cross.  

                                                                       

• Luke 19:28-47-Triumphant Entry, Jesus Weeps Over Jerusalem, and Jesus Goes to the Temple
• Luke 22-The Plot Against Jesus through Jesus Before Pilate and Herod
• Luke 23:26-55-The Crucifixion, Death, and Burial
• Luke 24-The Resurrection

Dear Heavenly Father I humbly come to you in thanks for sending your son Jesus to die on the cross for our sins.  You gave your life up so that our sins could be forgiven; words cannot express what it means to me to have you as my Lord and Savior. 

You Are Worthy April 1, 2007

“Worthy,worthy, You are worthy, Worthy is the Lord”

Thank you Heavenly Father for loving us so much that you sent your son Jesus down to die for our sins.  He gave his life for us and in turn Lord with your help and guidance I want to live my life everyday for you. 

I have been a Christian for awhile now and yet I still let Satan bog me down with the mistakes of my past.  No matter how times I’ve asked God to forgive me, I still let Satan allow that guilt to creep back in to my mind.  Even though I know that when we truly are sorry for our sins and ask for His forgivness He wipes the slate clean for us-He forgives and then forgets.  I don’t know about any of you but I wish I could do the same; there are things in my past that I am far from being proud of, so then why can’t I let go.  Plain and simple; Satan loves guilt-he feeds off it.  So today before Communion I asked God to help me let go off all the guilt and shame that I have felt for so long.  I realize now further in my walk that I shouldn’t ask to forget my sins and I don’t want to.  I think by forgetting them all together I wouldn’t be able to give advice to someone who really needs it.  All the things I’ve been through in my life have been for a reason, I have grown so much in my walk and believe me there is still plenty of room for me to continue growing.

So THANK YOU LORD for never giving up on me and forgiving me when I could not yet forgive myself.  Thank you for your love and mercy, and for helping to grow and to use the mistakes of my past to help someone else in need.  Father I give my life to you, I surrender it all to you, I’m ready to do your will-whatevery it may be.  I know that right now in my life you have called me to ministry and without putting ALL of my trust and faith in you I will not be the servant that you have called me to be so…

“Here I am take me, take me, as an offering.  Here I am giving, every heartbeat for your glory, take me.”

In Jesus name…Amen

My Call March 26, 2007

Like many I have been one of those people who have changed their major more than once.  Everytime I would choose one about a semester or year later I would realize that’s not what I want to do.  Sure I prayed that God would show me the right path but my heart wasn’t really in it, and I know that’s why it took a long time for me to hear his answer.  I have been in and out of college since I was 20, and I have yet to graduate. 

Well my status of not knowing and wandering in the desert finally came to pass in July 2006.  The few months before July I had this desire that I’ve never really had to go back to school and get my degree without dropping out in the process like I’ve done so many times before.  And I didn’t want to go to just any school I wanted to find a Christian school that I could do online so I wouldn’t have to worry about childcare.  My mil went to SAGU (Southwestern Assemblies of God University) for a seminar and brought back all kinds of information about the school.  After looking at all the brochures I was excited to learn that they have a distance education program all online-yesss!  A door had just been slightly opened; I filled out all the information and soon found out that in Aug. 2006 I would be attending-Hallelujah!  Now the only thing left I had to worry about was my major; a huge battle I’ve been dealing with for forever.

Ok back to camp; in July I went with the youth of our church to camp and I had an absolute blast.  I was so blessed to get to know all these young people so much better, and even more blessed when one night God placed in my heart my calling.  By the end of the week I knew that I was meant to go into ministry, and not just any but youth ministry.  Looking back at all the majors I had chosen I realized they all had one thing in common-helping teens.  I was so excited about my new calling that when I came home I didn’t tell anyone about it-can you believe that?!?  I was afraid that maybe I didn’t hear God right and I was having doubts that I could really do what he called me to do.  Oh how Satan loves to put fear and questioning in our hearts.  Well I wasn’t going to let him get the best of me so I went to prayer about it and asked God if this is your will then I will obey.  It was His will and I did obey.  I finally got the courage to tell David what I wanted to do and he just sat there with this surprised look.  But the best part was that he saw how excited I was to know my purpose (other than being a mom) in life.  He was excited for me and said he supported me in anything I felt lead to do-ahhh what a blessing.   As for the rest of my family at first they were surprised too but all have been very supportive of my decision.  However, there have been some who said that there isn’t a lot of money.  Don’t they realize that it’s not for the money, my reward is so much better.  Not only am I doing God’s will, but I’m helping in saving souls for Him.  What greater reward is there than knowing I helped God save from one from the fiery pits of hell. 

As of now I’m still in school and hope to graduate in about one year.  It’s been tough taking a full time load and taking care of my two little ones.  But God has given me the strength and organizing skills to balance my life between the two.  He also given me a husband who has been supportive from day one and for that I’m truly blessed.  So for anyone out there who thinks it’s to late or are not sure what to do just pray.  It’s never to late to go back to school, or to follow your dream, and it’s never to late to do what God has called you to do.  Sometimes we get so caught up in our lives that we forget to have our special time with Him.  So if that’s the stage you are in then take the time right now to talk to God and ask Him to open your ears, eyes, and heart, so you can know what it is God wants you to do.  We all have a bigger purpose in our lives then we can even imagine, it’s trusting God to make all things happen.  Good luck and let me know how everything is going.

Our Pits March 21, 2007

Tonight during worship service our Pastor asked us to ask God for that hunger, and desperation of knowing Him more.  So as I was standing there God just started to talk to me about feeling like you’re in a pit. 

No matter how deep or how dark your pit may be do not worry; for the LORD is our Savior.  He is the one who will never turn his back on us; He gives us strength when we have none to go on.  He is the light to guide us out; the hands that grab that pull us out and then shakes the dirt off of us, and then sets us back upon the right path.  Thank you oh LORD for never forsaking us, thank you for always being there even when we turn away and allow our selves to stumble and fall back into our pits.  Oh LORD, you alone are the only one who can dust us off and make us new.  You take us in your loving arms and show us your love, mercy, and forgiveness.  “You are my lamp, O LORD; the LORD turns my darkness into light.”-2 Samuel 22:29.  For those of us who feel that we may never climb out help us LORD.  Let us see your light, feel you grab us out of the darkness and into your glory and love.  In Jesus name…AMEN